Thursday, December 29, 2011


Graffiti Writing A-Z: Cool Tagging Letters, Bubble Effects

Graffiti writing A-Z black and white. Tagging letters cool, with a slight bubble effect look nicer. Examples of graffiti writing letters A-Z cool. Can you make amazing graffiti as above. different styles.

Friday, December 23, 2011


The great road toll lie.

I can’t take the BS anymore. It’s all over the radio, TV and newspapers. The endless harping on about the danger on our roads over the festive season. The massive amount of money that is being given to the police to police our roads and apparently keep us safe.

The police commissioner announces that over this christmas and new year season 16 people will die from car accidents. That amounts to one ten thousandth of one percent of the population of this state. It is a minute threat to us. Even if you add in all the injured people it is still going to be a very tiny number. There are far more serious dangers particularly from cancer and heart disease and diabetes that will kill and injure us, than motor vehicle accidents.

Lady with car.

This amounts to a major mismanagement of public money by the government.


Thursday, December 22, 2011


Child psychotherapy

I was asked the other day what model do I use when I work with children and I could not answer the question. I originally trained for two years in a psychoanalytic approach to child psychotherapy but that was a long time ago and I have changed my approach considerably since that time.

Eventually in answer to the question I simply made a list of the things I would look for and do at least in the early stages of working with a child.

Usually via drawing I establish the emotional status of the child. I use the catharsis approach to feelings - identify the feeling, express the feeling and drop the feeling.

baby & bear

Again usually via drawing I establish the family structure as the child sees it. I ask the child to draw their family and then analyse aspects of the drawing to get an understanding of the child’s perception of the what they see as their family.

Establish the life script decisions the child has made:
Don’t exist
Don’t be you (the sex you are)
Don’t be a child
Don’t grow up
Don’t make it (succeed)
Don’t be close
Don’t be important
Don’t belong
Don’t be well (sane)
Don’t think
Don’t feel
Don’t get your needs met
Don’t be separate

Letting go

Establish the inborn temperament of the child
Rhythmicity - Regular or irregular
Approach/withdrawal - Positive or negative
Adaptability - Adaptive or non-adaptive
Intensity of reaction - Mild or intense
Quality of mood - Positive or negative
Activity level - Low or high

Attachment style between mother and child - it requires a couple of sessions with mother and child together to ascertain the attachment quality

Parenting strategies - interviews with the mother and father to discuss various parenting strategies to deal with difficult circumstances

Woman looking

Establish overall family structure - emeshed vs distancing family structure


Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Graffiti Letters: Lower Case and Upper Case Words

Graffiti Letters: lower case and upper case words. Graffiti alphabet letters to make words in Christmas Card.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Psychodynamics of the recreational drug user.

The social drinker unlike the alcoholic has the ability to do these transactions. The Child ego state has the desire for more but the Adult ego state and the Parent ego state have the strength to curb the excesses of the Child.

Rec drug user diagram

The alcoholic or problem drug user does not have the strength in the Adult and Parent to restrict the Child ego state desire for more.

Hair girl
Too much?


Saturday, December 17, 2011


Tagging Graffiti Name "Matt Revolds"

Tagging graffiti name Matt Revolds. Graffiti sketch with a person's name. Graffiti styles different from the others.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Gender identity

Gender identity - Am I male or am I female
Sexual orientation - Am I sexually or romantically attracted to the same sex or opposite sex.
Sex role - how do I practically display my gender identity and how do I relate to the opposite sex.

Gender identity

An interesting statement about cross dressing which seems to make sense. But the male cross dressers I have worked with by and large are not homosexual which does not make logical sense really. But it does indicate that gender identity and sexual orientation are two separate things.

Who am I?



Locus of control

Locus of control and personal responsibility

LOC Hout 1

LOC Hout 2


Tuesday, December 13, 2011


10 Christmas Card Design - Graffiti

10 Christmas Card Design - Which is associated with graffiti. Please see the Christmas card designs and their creators below:

Merry Xmas card by holiday_tshirts

Funky graffiti designs card by ziggysofi.

Home gurl (girl) graffiti design greeting card by doonidesigns.

Graffiti Pink Heart Card by elisaemme

Graffiti Alphabet No L Red for Christmas Card by TerryBain.

Graffiti Love Cards by bwmedia.

 Graffiti Greeting Card by ahbe123.
Playa graffiti design greeting card by doonidesigns.

 Graffiti Rainbow Cards by thecharacterfactory.
 Thank you - graffiti cards by OutOfLimits. See the Christmas card designs on Zazzle

Saturday, December 10, 2011


Parent's responsible for children?

KYLady says:

There’s never a dull moment in our house – we have twin daughters soon turning 16 years old. Fortunately, we learned a lot from raising their older sisters. I like your metaphor of walking the tightrope – that’s exactly what it’s like. Too far one way and we are tyrants, too far the other way and we’re accused of being uncaring. For sure, what works with one does not work with the other. I believe parents are responsible for their teens, but if they haven’t parented with clear expectations and firm guidelines in their childrens’ earlier years, it’s going to be a lot harder to influence them as they become more independent. Parenting teens is not easy, not even with good kids!
(end quote)

I would agree with your point that what happened in the parenting of the child effects what happens in the parenting of a teenager. Also that parenting styles with teenagers vary from one to another. This would also be true in childhood but I think it is more pronounced in adolescence.

I find your comment

I believe parents are responsible for their teens

an interesting one.

I know what you are saying but I don’t agree with it, sort of.

Phone box

I don’t see myself or other parents as responsible for their teenagers. I provide a boundary for teenagers such that they are allowed to do A & B but not C & D. However I would not see myself as responsible for their actions nor their internal emotions. As I write this I am not too sure what I am saying.

I have a belief system in my head that I assume is communicated to my children that they are responsible for their behaviour and emotions and thoughts. I also know that when they are children they do not understand the world enough in order to survive or just operate successfully. That is where I come in and provide boundaries, make suggestions and make decisions for them.

Flower in pregnant tummy

I decide for them that eating a large block of chocolate all at once is a very bad idea and so I stop them but that does not make me responsible for them. All I am doing is controlling a piece of behaviour.

I retreat to my dictionary and discover that responsibility is defined as:

The state or fact of having control over someone

It appears that I am incorrect in my understanding of the term because I do have control over their eating of the chocolate. So according to this definition I am responsible for my children as KYLady originally proposed.

So what am I trying to say here?

As I think here I discover I have a belief and an expectation about my children. You are responsible for yourself and what happens to you in life. There are going to be plenty of times when I am not around and then you are responsible and even when I am around you are also still responsible for what you say and do, etc.

As I write this I am thinking, “OMG, I hope this is an OK thing!!”. I was not aware of this expectation I had of them until now.

Man face

Whilst I cannot recall myself saying such things often and openly I am sure this belief was communicated subliminally to them.

I will do all the appropriate things to control their behaviour, such as with the chocolate but at the same time there is this expectation or belief about responsibility that is communicated to them as well.

This is a little bit of a light globe turning on moment as I write this. I rarely if ever said the belief I had about responsibility to them instead it was an unstated expectation of them.

So back to KYLady’s comment about parents being responsible for their children. With the dictionary saying what it said I have to agree in one way but I disagree in another way.


Friday, December 9, 2011


Teenage supervision

Its not a good week to be a parent in the city in which I live. Parents have come under considerable criticism by the police and parts of the press, most notably Jane Marwick in today’s daily newspaper.

As 14 - 16 year olds end the school year they go to holiday resorts and some of them get drunk and so forth. Whilst these are undoubtedly the minority they attract attention from the police and the press. The police in particular are scathing of parents who they say are not taking any responsibility as they put it and letting these teenagers run riot.


One thing the police do not say is how it should be done differently. At some point the teenager has to be left unsupervised. That is how a young person develops a sense of responsibility. If you are supervising them then they are not being responsible for them self and thus can never develop a sense of self responsibility. Sooner or later you have to let them go and do it on their own.

I have been counselling teenagers and their parents for 25 years and I am not aware of another way by which a teenager can become self responsible without being left unsupervised at some point. If Jane Marwick or the police have some idea on how to do that I would be very interested to hear it.

At what point do you let them be unsupervised and to what degree - there is no clear answer. It varies depending on the personality of the child and the relationship with the parents. It is a very difficult path for parents to walk as often it is trial and error and involves changing the plan of teenager management as you find what works and what does not.

girl whistle blower

At times parenting teenagers involves two bad choices and it is a matter of picking the less bad choice. A strong willed 15 year old who is reacting against parental supervision can simply get up and walk out of the house. You cannot stop them. You can call the police who can find them and bring them home but then they just walk out again. This can only happen a certain number of times before they end up on the streets. A horrible scenario for parents.

Such a teenager is demanding to be unsupervised and most teenagers do this in varying degrees. When I counsel such parents and teenagers the parents again have to walk a tightrope. You certainly don’t want them being on the streets so you have to give them more unsupervised periods than you may like. The parent has to pick the lesser of two bad choices in order to maintain a relationship with the child and some degree of control. If those criticising these parents have a better solution I would be very glad to hear it.


As the relationship transitions from parent/child to parent/teenager a quality of bargaining and negotiation enters into it. Almost all teenagers will do this to varying degrees. If the teenager is of a complaint nature then it may be minimal. If they are of a strong willed adversarial nature then it can be very pronounced. At times parents have to let teenagers do what they don’t want them to do in order for the longer term goals to be achieved.

At some point parents have to let teenagers be unsupervised if they are to grow into functional members of society who can self regulate. Those unsupervised times often involve undesirable behaviour, that is how the teenager learns what is desirable and undesirable.



Graffiti Name Maker "John"

Graffiti Name Maker "John". Write name in graffiti. The easiest example to make graffiti is as above. Graffiti sketch and then practice on the wall. may need to exercise several times so that you create graffiti looks like the sketch, or can you make with the letters graffiti wild style of your own creation. I think (new-graffiti) it was cool.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Interviewing the child - Part 2

In the previous post Kahless says

I have never drunk a cup of coffee in my life I dont have the inclination, though i do wonder if it is because as a kid, i distinctly remember my brother telling me i dont like coffee. powerful stuff eh!

This is exactly the next point I was going to make. In the previous post I referred to the idea of the leading question. One can also make a ‘leading statement’ as it could be called. Doing such a thing in interviewing a child can be positive or negative depending on the circumstances.

Children are more suggestible than adults because their Adult ego state is in a rudimentary form. As a result when an adult says something to a child it will accept it more freely than would an adult. The child cannot do the critical analysis or factual assessment of what is being said as effectively as an adult can.

Brick carrier

Consider this clinical situation:

A child reports that it has a pet fish which it loved very much. The previous day the cat climbed up on the aquarium, managed to snare the fish and eat it.

The child psychotherapist then says: “Oh, that is sad for you”.

This is a leading statement as it defines reality for the child.

Loss of loved fish = sad feelings

However the child may not be feeling that at all. At that point the child may be feeling anger at the cat and not sadness at the loss.

This can be a bad thing as it may lead to confusion in the child. As the child is highly suggestible it will take on the ‘facts’ provided by the counsellor much more readily. After hearing the counsellor’s comment the child may think,

“I thought what I was feeling was anger but it must sadness as I was told it was”. This can result in the child becoming confused about what is anger and what is sadness. The leading statement has resulted in a problem. The counsellor at least initially needed to ask a question, rather than make a leading statement. For example, “What are you feeling about what happened to your fish?”

Boy carrying fish

In another circumstance one may be counselling a child for anger management. The child who tends to be chronically angry. After some inquiry one discovers that the young boy has learnt that sad feelings are bad things and result in bad consequences. He may have been humiliated by his father when he cried at home. What he does is cover up his sad feelings with anger which is acceptable to his father. The problem is his sad feelings are never resolved and hence he ends up being chronically angry.

Thus the counsellor can make ‘suggestions’ to the child with leading comments such as, “People feel sad when their pet dies”. As they are more suggestible the child will take this comment on more so than an adult would. Such a statement gets planted deeper in the psyche of the youngster than the adult. In this case their suggestibility is being used for therapeutic advantage. (Of course one also makes sure there is not confusion about anger and sadness). The suggestion has affirmed that sad feelings exist, that the child does have sad feelings and that such feelings are appropriate at times


The key to such suggestions is for the counsellor to get the relationship with the child right first, get their timing right and deliver it in a way that will have the most impact.

Hence we get back to the comment by Kahless

I have never drunk a cup of coffee in my life I dont have the inclination, though i do wonder if it is because as a kid, i distinctly remember my brother telling me i dont like coffee. powerful stuff eh!

It is possible this was a suggestion inadvertently given by her brother. The circumstances were right at the time when he made the suggestion and she took it on as a fact. When that happens it is powerful stuff indeed my pommy friend!


Monday, December 5, 2011


Interviewing the child in the therapeutic setting

(This is a work in progress and will be added to over time).

The problem with interviewing children in counselling is that they are highly suggestible and they look to parents (big people) to define reality.

Because a child has a poorly formed Adult ego state it therefore becomes suggestible. If a child interacts with her brother then she will remember that interaction in her Adult ego state. If an adult person comes along and suggests or says things happened which did not happen then that child may take on what she was told happened rather than what actually happened. The less robust the Adult ego state the more likely this can happen.

Poking toungue

This can range from the very serious where it is believed the child may have been assaulted by someone to the benign when its a feeling about a pet fish dying.

In interviewing a child there are times when the therapist is wanting to get the facts of what happened to a child or some event they were involved in. This is the hard to do because the child is suggestible. The interviewer needs to be cautious they get the information from the child rather than suggesting facts to the child which the child then takes on as facts and presents back to the interviewer.

To avoid suggestions the interviewer must do what is known in the legal profession as avoiding asking leading questions.

“And what did your brother do to you in the back shed?” is a leading question.

Besides asking the child for information it also says to the child
You were in the back shed
Someone was there with you
That person was your brother
He did something to you

social isolation

The weaker the Adult ego state the more the child will take these on as facts that actually occurred. The child may not have been in the back shed for two years. It all of a sudden starts thinking

“I was not in the shed but he said I was so maybe I was and I don’t remember it right”.

The child has now become highly suggestible. Its already weak Adult ego state has become even weaker. It has accepted that in this interview what it recalls is probably inaccurate and the interviewer is in essence telling it what really happened.

This can be made even worse when the interviewer confronts an answer. The child may respond with some sort of comment about not being in the shed. The interviewer takes this as a repression of the event because it was traumatic or maybe as an attempt to protect the brother. He then questions the accuracy of the child in recalling where the event took place and the child’s belief in their recall of the facts is made even more fragile.

C wants magic
Did it really happen?

Thus in interviewing a child one at times must avoid asking leading questions. If one is wanting to get facts from a child leading questions must be avoided. One asks questions with no or very few assumptions in them. One could ask

Where did you play that day?
What were you playing?
Do you play that game by yourself or with other people?
Who have you ever played that game with?
Is it fun to play with him?

As you can see these questions head in the same direction as the question

“And what did your brother do to you in the back shed?”

But they are allowing the child to define when, where, who and what. I would also be asking these questions whilst having the child distracted by some activity such as drawing. This allows the child more ‘space’ and one can look for changes in the child’s drawing (Behaviour) as the questions are being asked.

Here I have given an example of a legal type of situation which child psychotherapists are sometimes required to do. Leading questions also can interfere in the therapeutic process in a more psychological way which will be discussed next.


Sunday, December 4, 2011


Oral stage of development

The oral stage fixation is often associated with the highly dependent person. That person who may have dependent relationships on others or develop a strong dependnecy on a drug of some kind.

These are some of the features of people who have an oral stage fixation.

Oral Stage 1

The oral stage of development is broken into two parts. Initially there is the oral sucking stage which is followed by the oral biting stage, which breast feeding mothers can tell you about!

Oral Stage 2

In the second digram the top two rows relate to the oral sucking stage and the bottom two rows relate to the oral biting stage

Oral sucking stage fixation

Pro-ana. Oral biting stage fixation



Graffiti Black Book Character MatyL

Graffiti Black Book Character MatyL. MatyL graffiti letters with the character of punk. Cool graffiti sketch. graffiti from there trans1 see more graffiti blackbooks.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011


Co Counselling

I was going through some old notes the other day and came across a mention of co counselling. I was always fascinated by the idea of co counselling but never actually did any myself.

I haven’t heard of co counselling even being mentioned for many years. I think it would have been in the early 1990’s when it was all the rage for about a year or two and then disappeared never to be heard of again. Funny how the counselling industry has fashions like that, which come and go.

Big hair

Co counselling is about therapists getting therapy from other therapists. Therapists getting personal therapy is a good idea for two reasons. First it gives them an opportunity to work on their own issues and secondly a “training analysis” as it is sometimes called is a great way to learn therapy. The therapist as a client gets to see another therapist work not only by observing but also by being directly involved in the process. A great way indeed to learn the art of psychotherapy.

However co counselling has extra special interesting factors than just a therapist getting therapy from another therapist. Two therapists meet and decide they want some therapy and it goes like this:

Man in seaweed

Week 1.
Person A is therapist
Person B is client

Week 2.
Person A is client
Person B is therapist

Week 3.
Person A is therapist
Person B is client

Week 4.
Person A is client
Person B is therapist

and so on.

Each week they swap the roles of therapist and client. A most interesting proposal indeed. For instance what happens with the transference? It would provide a most interesting experiment on the nature of transference to see what did happen.

Cat leaping
Social experiments involve risk. If you never take a risk what will you end up with?

Transference is where the client develops a strong attachment and feelings for the therapist. Often the feelings are not reality based. The client starts to put mother’s face onto the therapist and react to her/him in the same way she did 30 years ago to mother.

This happens because the therapist is in the power position with the client and the client starts this transferring process. Sometimes the transference feelings can be quite strong indeed. In co counselling the therapist and client switch roles each week.

What impact will that have on the transference process?
Will both develop a transference?
Will neither develop a transference?
If one or both parties develop some transference how can that be managed in the co counselling process?

Most interesting questions indeed.

It provides a quite different perspective from which to examine the whole therapeutic process.


Tuesday, November 29, 2011



It is an interesting process. I just stopped writing for two weeks. There was no decision to, I just did. The previous month I produced a lot of words for the book I am writing on counselling drug users. I just started writing again today.

It was similar to the first book. I treat my Free Child with great care which is a good thing really, therapeutic as well. I listen closely to it or more just follow its lead. I don’t push myself at all to write. I don’t have a schedule of writing. I need to be very careful of my rebellious side and not to engage it in this large writing project.

Bowling girl

I must admit I do start to wonder a bit as a week goes by and nothing has been written. But I sit back and let the FC take charge. I suppose I am trusting it a bit more as I know it will come back to the keyboard when ready. That happened last time and is happening this time.

Yesterday I mentioned this to someone and they asked if I had writers block. I don’t think so but then I don’t really know what writers block is. I didn’t feel blocked. It is more a feeling of I am taking very close care of that part of me and trusting it will do its stuff when ready.

Heroin overdose

One hears this term quite a lot but it is in fact somewhat of a misnomer.

Part of chapter 2

Drinking games

Poly drug use.
Anyone in the drug counselling field will come across the term poly drug use. This is seen to be the contrary of mono drug use. In real terms there would be very few mono drug users on the planet. The vast majority of people are poly drug users. If one has a wine during dinner and a cup of coffee at the end then they are a poly drug user using both alcohol and the stimulant caffeine. However the term poly drug use usually refers the use of illicit drugs maybe with alcohol at the one time. The person ingests a combination of drugs in the one session.

Where poly drug use assumes most importance is when considering the possibly of drug over dose. The drug counsellor needs to be cognizant with the effects of possible combinations of drugs. Over dose from one single drug is much less common that over dose from multiple drug consumption. One study of drug related over dose, Hickman et al (2006) found only one drug present in just eleven percent of deaths with the average being more than three drugs detected. The most common drugs found in over dose were heroin, cocaine, benzodiazepines, alcohol and methadone. The least common were amphetamines, ecstacy and cannabis. (Also see Newcombe and Woods (2010), McKenna (2002) and Giroud et al (1997))


As a matter of course any drug counsellor will enquire as to what drugs the client is using. They should specifically ask if the person uses heroin, cocaine, benzodiazepines, alcohol and/or methadone and in what combinations in any one drug taking session. If there is a combination used then the counsellor would obviously inform the client of the potential for over dose and look at ways by which the client can reduce the risk of a fatal over dose, such as not using alone and so forth.
(end quote)

As you can see it would be more correctly named as a poly drug overdose as only 11% of fatal overdoses result from the ingestion of one drug. 89% result from a combination of drugs taken. So how can you say which one was the fatal one or played the most part in the death? So heroin overdoses are rarely just heroin over doses.

This comes from chapter 5

smoking girl

Research study
Kerr, D., Dietze, P., Kelly, A. and Jolley, D.
“Improved response by peers after witnessed heroin overdose in Melbourne”. Drug and Alcohol Review. 2009. 28, 327 - 330.

Heroin related over dose
Current IDU recruited at a needle and exchange programme (ie not recreational users)
61% had reported they over dosed after injecting heroin with the median being 3 times
84% reported witnessing an over dose with the median being 4.5 times

46% reported witnessing an overdose in the last 6 months

These figures show that these people are really living on the edge of self destruction. To go that close to death that often would strongly suggest some suicidal or self destructive urges play a part in what they do.

It should be noted that the subjects in this study would be the dependent drug users and not the recreational heroin users because of how they were recruited for the research.


Sunday, November 27, 2011


7 Best Graffiti Art Mural Face of Juseone

 7 Best Graffiti Art Mural Face of Juseone. Seventh choice faces cool graffiti on the wall according to new-graffiti. See the photos below:

 Graffiti murals wallpaper male

Graffiti murals on the walls of a woman's face. Graffiti creator juseone