Men, women and sex**

Although I never liked the mars and venus book about men and women there are times when I think the concept is true. This became apparent a while ago when I was working with a 20 something year old woman who was having some angst about her boyfriend.

He had a habit of buying magazines that had swim suit models in them and he would read them at home. Soft porn. Then he was at one point going interstate with a group of his friends to see the football. After the game they were going out and may end up at a strip club.

She had a big problem with this and we discussed it at length. She had never mentioned to him that she had a problem with the magazines or his planned trip to the boudoir. Eventually she decided to discuss the matter with him. She asked him not to go to see the pole dancers on his football trip, he agreed and as it turned out he did not go. However in speaking with her she summed up many of the misconceptions some women have about the male psyche in this way.

Firstly it seems women differ considerably on this matter. Some women have the reaction as described above. I know other women who give their husbands a years subscription to Hustler magazine for a christmas present each year. Clearly they are not of the same view as the woman described above

Angst

As I mentioned in a previous post (generally speaking, and I know I am generalising here) for women sex and relationship are intimately intertwined. For men that can be the case but it does not have to be. Men can have sex without there being a relationship established or establishing. The most obvious example being prostitution and the fact that places like Hooters exists and magazines like Hustler can be so profitable.

Some of her misconceptions were.

1. Because he wants to look at naked women that means he wants to have sex with them.

2. Because he wants to look at naked women that means our relationship is no good.

3. Because he wants to look at naked women that means I must not be good enough for him.

4. When he looks at naked women he is comparing them to me.

Wrong!! I would argue that for most men these are not so.

Males when they turn into teenagers discover that when they look at a female who is sexually attractive it feels good. That’s it, end of story. It feels good so they look. They are not intelligent enough to think up the 4 things described above. It feels good so they look.

The male in one of his brighter moments at the Red Neck games

She now reports no angst about his swim suit model magazines.

Graffiti