The Don’t be close injunction

With this injunction the young child perceives the parents to be telling it that for some reason closeness is not OK, dangerous or for some unstated reason not a good thing. This can include both physical and psychological closeness. In particular these people have trouble with emotional intimacy, emotional closeness and so forth.

If this is one of the person’s core injunctions as they are sometimes called then their life will be such they end up alone. As their life script plays out slowly and surely they will have less and less contact or at least meaningful contact with others and basically end up a loner as Eric Berne would say.

This is usually achieved in one of two ways. Firstly the person will continually find reasons to withdraw from others and relationships. This can be done because they feel they are not worthy or that the other person is in some way not acceptable or worthy and thus they withdraw from the relationship. This happens over and over such that eventually there are not many relationships left in the person’s life.

The other way to end up alone is to use anger. Anger separates people psychologically and often geographically as well. If one is angry then others will tend to drift away, if not leave directly. When a couple presents for counselling and report ongoing angry conflict the first thing one looks for is the intimacy between them.

If one or both of them have a Don’t be close injunction then they will feel uncomfortable about closeness and intimacy and showing love and so forth. One good way to avoid such things is to be angry at each other. Anger is a great way to avoid emotional intimacy.

Can someone have a Don’t be close

injunction and get knocked up?

Do I have a Don’t be close injunction

Relationships are very much a half glass full or a half glass empty type of thing, it depends on how you look at them. There is always some problem in any relationship so do you look at relationships in a way where you are looking for solutions or looking for reasons why it wont work.

Do you accumulate others or tend to repel them. Do you tend to be an inclusive type of person like this:

Or tend to do this with relationships:

What happens to your relationships with others? Do they tend to fade away or does there tend to be a disagreement or bust up of some kind.

How many people do you dislike and would seek to avoid if you could. Is the list long or short? Can you forgive and forget in relationships and again be friends with someone whom you felt mistreated you in some way in the past.

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