Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Antiscript and the male mid life crisis


Eric Berne in his book “What do you say after you say hello” talks about the Antiscript. Here is a diagram of the antiscript. The child is born and from that point on it needs to make sense out of the world and who it is. In Transactional Analysis terms the child does that by making a whole series of early decisions based on how it is treated by its parents. As these are being made the child then comes to the conclusion about its life position or its basic understanding of its worth and the worth of others.


After these have been establish the child then is on the path of his life script. Some simply stay on that path and live their life following their script to its conclusion. Others when they reach adolescence veer away from the life script path onto the path of the what Eric Berend called the antiscript. At this point they stop following the life script, rebel against it and stop living by the injunctions and drivers given by the parents.


This will include the Rebellious Child ego state doing the opposite of the script programme as well as the Free Child trying out new non-script bound behaviours, feelings, attitudes and decisions.


The antiscript in adolescence usually lasts about 5 to 6 years and then we have the most important part of the antiscript process. When the teenager starts to get to the end of their antiscript period what do they do then? The main question is how much do they just swing back to the life script path and live that life out. This is where the counsellor can be of considerable use to the teenager. At that point where the antiscript period is ending.


Some people swing back one hundred percent to the life script path and spend the rest of their days living it out. Others swing back in varying degrees, that is they use the experience of their RC rebellions and their Free Child experimentations of the antiscript period to make non-script bound decisions on how they want to live their life. Using various therapy techniques the counsellor can help the teenager at this time in this way. From what I have seen most often the therapeutic opportunities afforded by the antiscript process are lost in counselling as the counsellor does not seize the moment to the advantage of the adolescent.


Some people spend much longer periods in the antiscript and will live a life style that is very contrary to what the parents programme was for them. For instance the man whose parents groomed him to be an accountant ends up living like a feral in the bush on a commune, living off the land. He does not swing back at all to the life script and stays stuck in the antiscript which can last for many years.


The other thing the counsellor needs to be advising, is for the teenager to avoid making major life decisions whilst in antiscript. For instance never choose a marital partner whilst in antiscript. My suggestion is that for Australian conditions never get married before the age of 25 years. The swing back from antiscript to script can be quite rapid and involve quite a marked change in personality, life goals and so forth. In a matter of 12 months a person can change quite dramatically on occasion. The person you married may all of a sudden go through major changes in their views, attitudes and goals of life.


This also applies in a choice of career which people in their late teens and early 20s are often considering. Letting the teenager know that they have time to choose and indeed may try a variety of occupational paths before ending up with the one they want. This can be a problem for some parents who want the child to get on a career path by age 19 when they go to university, take up a trade and so forth. The counsellor of the teenager can find it difficult going because of difficulties with the parents of the teenager rather than the teenager.


After the adolescent antiscript period ends once again people will continue on their life path with much less disruption to the person’s life script that occurred with the antiscript. Sometimes however there can be another period of antiscript disruption later in life. For some men this occurs with the mid life crisis.


The man has spent the past 20 years being responsible, working diligently, doing the right thing by supporting the family and so forth. At around 40 he realises this, looks at the next 30 years of his life and sees the same looming for him. For some this can be very disturbing such that they again move into an antiscript period. He leaves his wife, starts dating women half his age, buys a sports car, starts going to night clubs and hanging out with the ‘tragic’ singles set. He is doing the same as the teenager in that he realises what his life script is and thus makes a loud and unsophisticated attempt to alter it and veer onto a different life path.


From a therapy perspective the goals are the same as for the teenager. With the use of various therapy techniques the man is afforded the opportunity to use the experience of his RC rebellions and Free Child experimentations of the antiscript period to make non-script bound decisions on how he wants to live his life.


As with the teenager from what I have seen most often the therapeutic opportunities afforded by the mid life crisis antiscript period are lost in counselling as the counsellor does not seize the moment to the advantage of the middle aged man.


The key from a counselling point of view for any antiscript period is when the person is coming to the end of it one uses it to the therapeutic advantage of the client in the ways that I have described. Indeed there are many therapeutic interventions the therapist can use with the client when they are in the heights of the antiscript process that will also assist when the antiscript process in coming to its closure.


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